Poor cantaloupe. Poor tomato/strawberry. I think drawing fruits is my niche. Caravaggio beware, I’m coming for you. 

Poor cantaloupe. Poor tomato/strawberry. I think drawing fruits is my niche. Caravaggio beware, I’m coming for you. 

Obviously my hand drawn cartoons are the greatest. Just look at that hair. Also, I think that person’s neck is broken. I like how this is a joke involving dirt and I didn’t even draw ground. What is dirt?

Obviously my hand drawn cartoons are the greatest. Just look at that hair. Also, I think that person’s neck is broken. I like how this is a joke involving dirt and I didn’t even draw ground. What is dirt?

This is a PSA. Don’t do batshit or you’ll end up like Batshit Barry here. You don’t want to end up like Batshit Barry. Thank you for reading the PSA.

HIGH FIVE IF YOU GET REALLY BAD BED HEAD LIKE I DO! Man I love my bed head. My hair gets to be all over the place and I just look so cool. If by some miracle I find myself with bed head in front of a mirror I end up doing a double take. Like, “Where’d this cool guy come from?” There’s just something about having my hair half up, half down, and another half all over the place that really me feel like I’m awesome.

HIGH FIVE IF YOU GET REALLY BAD BED HEAD LIKE I DO! Man I love my bed head. My hair gets to be all over the place and I just look so cool. If by some miracle I find myself with bed head in front of a mirror I end up doing a double take. Like, “Where’d this cool guy come from?” There’s just something about having my hair half up, half down, and another half all over the place that really me feel like I’m awesome.

Ha ha. I’m laughing at myself because I’m super dumb. The best thing about this joke, is that you can attempt to do it at home without hurting yourself - provided you know how to tie a tie. Though I suppose even if you don’t you can just knot a tie as best as you can and then go running around the neighborhood yelling “MY HANDS ARE TIED MY HANDS ARE TIED.” “WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO ME!?” “I’M IN A DIRE SITUATION HERE!”
Yadda yadda have fun. 

Joker, you’re not supposed to tell him what your gift it. And why’d you have to go and be all misleading like that?

I didn’t draw the curtains because I can’t draw curtains. Well- I can’t draw anything really, but I just had no idea how to go about drawing curtains in a box. This actually took me a long time to draw, so you better enjoy it. 

"Oh no! Our jam has gotten jammed in the anti-overflowing station at our jam factory!" 
"Great Scott this is the Boston Molasses Disaster all over again."
"Terrible news sir! The peanut butter people just called saying their factory has overflown."
"My god. This is one sticky situation."

Well all right then. I think my work here is done.

"Oh no! Our jam has gotten jammed in the anti-overflowing station at our jam factory!" 

"Great Scott this is the Boston Molasses Disaster all over again."

"Terrible news sir! The peanut butter people just called saying their factory has overflown."

"My god. This is one sticky situation."

Well all right then. I think my work here is done.

You can’t actually be too cool for school. And that’s a cryin’ shame I tell ya’ ‘cause the cool kids suck. 

You can’t actually be too cool for school. And that’s a cryin’ shame I tell ya’ ‘cause the cool kids suck. 

This isn’t a pun. It’s still a bad joke though. This is going under the “Inspiring sayings not to use on astronauts” section. And will probably be the only one in that collection. Also it’s a terrible saying. I hate it when people use “The sky is the limit.” That’s a terrible limit, man! 

This isn’t a pun. It’s still a bad joke though. This is going under the “Inspiring sayings not to use on astronauts” section. And will probably be the only one in that collection. Also it’s a terrible saying. I hate it when people use “The sky is the limit.” That’s a terrible limit, man! 

"How was your trip to the moon?"
"The trip came down with a sudden case of Alzheimer’s and forgot where we were heading. We ended up going to putt putt palace instead." 

"How was your trip to the moon?"

"The trip came down with a sudden case of Alzheimer’s and forgot where we were heading. We ended up going to putt putt palace instead."